Vaginismus

It’s understandable that you feel frustrated and worried about not being able to have penetrative sex, especially after trying with foreplay and overcoming past fears. What you’re describing sounds like a condition called vaginismus.

Vaginismus is when the muscles around the vagina involuntarily contract, making penetration difficult or impossible. This can feel like there’s a “wall” blocking entry.

Even if you’re experiencing normal periods and have had fears of intercourse in the past, vaginismus can still occur. It can be related to physical or psychological factors, such as anxiety, past trauma, or stress. It’s important to address both aspects to find a solution.

Here are a few steps you can take:

• Consult a Gynecologist: The first step is to see a healthcare provider to rule out any physical issues. They can diagnose if vaginismus is the cause and recommend treatment.
• Pelvic Floor Exercises: Kegel exercises can help strengthen and relax the pelvic floor muscles. A pelvic floor physical therapist can guide you through these exercises effectively.
• Counseling or Therapy: Talking to a sex therapist or counsellor can help address any psychological barriers. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) has been effective for many women with vaginismus.
• Use of Dilators: Vaginal dilators, which are graduated in size, can help gradually desensitise and stretch the vaginal muscles. Using them regularly, often with a lubricant, can make penetration easier over time.

Remember, you are not alone in this. Many women experience similar issues, and with the right approach, it’s possible to overcome them.