How To Have Safe Casual Sex

In today’s dating world, you match with someone on an online dating platform, and things start to escalate. For many people, casual sex has become a way to explore their sexuality, build an emotional connection, or experience pleasure in ways that feel right without attaching to long-term experience. 

Having casual sex is a choice, and one doesn’t need to feel bad or guilty for expressing their sexual desires or needs. There is no single right way to explore one’s curiosity or sexuality.

This article talks about safe sex practices in a clear and non-judgmental way, which helps an individual to make the right and informed choice.

Allo asks

What’s your top rule for practicing safe casual sex?

Always use protection (condoms, dental dams, etc.)

0%

Communicate clearly about consent

0%

Get regular STI check-ups

66.7%

Trust my instincts and walk away if it feels wrong

33.3%

3 responses

What Does It Mean To Have Casual Sex?

Casual sex is defined by sexual involvement without the expectation of a future romantic relationship. [1] 

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Types Of Casual Sex Encounters

Let’s understand the diversity of casual sex encounters, which can help one identify what caters to their needs and expectations.

• Hook-ups/ Travel hook-up or one-night stand: It’s a type of casual sex where people don’t plan to meet again. These are one-time encounters, often short-term, with strangers and acquaintances.
• Casual FWB: Friend with benefits. It involves people who are already friends and engage in sexual activity repeatedly. They connect/bond sexually but aren’t in a romantic relationship.
• Online dating app encounter: Here, one meets the person through an online dating app. It can be a one-time thing or turn into multiple meetings.
• Self-discovery sex: Meant for individuals who want to explore and understand their sexuality, identity, or preferences.

How To Practice Safe Sex?

Protecting the body is as essential as preserving the mind. Ignoring the basics can lead to regretting the decisions later. Here is the list of options one can look at:

1. Condoms:

• They are the most easily available option. Condoms are 97% effective with correct and consistent use and 86% with typical use [2].
• They are the most effective method of preventing most sexually transmitted diseases or infections (STDs or STIs) and avoiding unwanted pregnancy.

2. Vaccines:

• Get vaccinated against viral infections like Hepatitis A and Hepatitis B, which can be passed on during sexual activity.
• Human papillomavirus (HPV) is the most common STI. [3] People who are sexually active can get HPV.
• In most cases (9 out of 10), HPV goes away within 2 years without causing any health problems. [3] Consider seeking medical advice from a healthcare professional if you notice a rash, blister, or unusual growth in your genital area. It is important for your sexual health.

3. Dams:

• These are flat sheets used to cover the vaginal or anal opening and are preferred for oral sex.

4. Lubes:

• These are gels that have a slightly thick texture. They make things easy to slide into and can make the experience comfortable and smooth.
• If you are worried about getting pregnant accidentally, keep an emergency or birth control pill as a backup option.

“Safe casual sex is a mix of fun and responsibility. When both partners communicate honestly and use the proper protection, it can be a safe and enjoyable experience.

Clear And Honest Communication Is Essential

It is difficult and awkward to talk about pleasure. Communicating desires, boundaries, and expectations honestly can make way for a positive and comfortable experience.

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This is how one can achieve it:

• Use a joke or an emoji to initiate a conversation and avoid being awkward. Ask about their likes, dislikes, or any mutual interests; it makes the conversation interesting.
• Once the comfort or casual affection is developed, talk about desires and expectations and listen to theirs with no judgement.
• Consent is the starting point of any sexual activity. One must talk about their limits firmly. Always remember you can change your mind anytime before or during the act.
• Both individuals should talk about their preferred choice of protection. Ask about past sexual encounters and any sexually transmitted infection history, like, ”Did you get your STI check up recently?
• Respect “no” as an answer. At the same time, if something is not working, don’t feel bad or guilty for saying no.

Aparna, a 25-year-old female, who recently met a guy through an online dating app, says, “listening to your gut feeling is important than listening to your hormones. Mention your boundaries early and directly. If the person complains or compromises the safety in any manner, stop the ongoing conversation/act. Open communication is key.”

Advice On Personal Safety

Things to consider before meeting the individual.

• One should meet their partner in a trusting environment, such as a cafe or a station.
• Inform a trusted friend about this meeting and let them know when and where it will be. Share your location with them. One should choose one’s own way of getting there.
• Be aware of social media privacy, do not share explicit/nude pics through any social media platform until or unless it’s consensual and feels safe.
• Intuition or gut feelings matter. Pay special attention to their facial expressions and body language. These clues can tell you how they feel and can make the experience more enjoyable.

Is Having Casual Sex Beneficial For Mental Health?

Research highlights both the advantages and disadvantages of casual sex.

Advantages:

• Sexual pleasure is the most common benefit. [4]
• Happiness, fun, enjoyment, and increased self-confidence are some of the emotional benefits.
• One can meet their sexual and/or emotional needs without having to make a long-term commitment. Easier to try out different types of intimacy.
• Individual gets a chance to understand what they want in a relationship and how they want to act sexually.

Disadvantages:

• Having casual sex after drinking alcohol has worse effects on your mental health.
• Not using condoms, feeling sexually unhappy, and not knowing a partner well increased the chances of bad emotional outcomes. [5]
• Casual sex that occurs shortly after a romantic breakup is associated with an increase in mental and emotional stress.

Emotional Safety Before And After The Sex

Knowing the “why”, before one decides to indulge in casual sex, is as important as the sexual experience itself. Ask yourself, is it for sexual fun, pleasure, to form a deeper relationship, or to escape loneliness? This will guide you to make the right choice.

Some research does claim that casual sexual encounters are linked with higher mental health issues like depression and anxiety [6]

An individual should know how they feel emotionally. Being aware of the feelings now might help deal with the different feelings that one might experience after having casual sex, such as happiness, contentment, guilt, or nothing at all.

Emotional and Physical Toolkit

Post the casual sex experience, ask yourself:

1. Did you like the experience?
2. Would you want to have casual sex again?
3. Was your partner able to meet your expectations?
4. Do you feel an emotional bond?
5. Were they respectful towards you?
6. Check for any signs of irritation, discomfort, or STIs, post casual sex.

Conclusion

Consent is a very crucial part of any type of sexual connection. Individuals need to respect each other’s wants and needs. To have a fun and satisfying casual sex experience, it is very important to respect other people’s bodies, gender, and boundaries. Asking and being mindful of each other’s needs, interests, and preferences helps to create a safe space for connection and enjoyment. Causal doesn’t mean thoughtless. The type of casual sex doesn’t matter. It is about making a choice that feels good for your mental and sexual health and makes an individual happy.

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