Ep 8: How Can We Identify Porn Addiction? l How to QUIT Porn

Sexpert + Topic Intro I was recently talking to this old college friend of mine who was saying that since her break-up, she's been so lazy to meet people that she's just been watching porn instead. And it just made me wonder, with porn being so easily available and accessible all over the Internet, even social media platforms- are we in a place where we're consuming too much porn? And that's a question we're going to talk more about today. But first, welcome! You're watching Allo Ask The Sexpert, a space where we invite sexual health and wellness experts to talk about sex, pleasure, porn and so much more so that you can have better sex, backed by science. I'm Artika, and I'm joined today by Kanusha, who is an in-house psychologist and sexual wellness expert with Allo Health. Hi Kanusha, welcome! How are you doing? I am doing very well Artika. I'm just really excited to go through what all we have planned for today. Why Do You Watch Porn? So Kanusha, I think the very, very first thing that I want to ask you is why do people even watch porn? I think quite a few reasons over there. I think the most common reason is, you know, a lot of times. you feel, horny? If should say in very common terms. You feel sexually, "in the mood". And I think porn gives you that kind of visual, sexual stimulation and, you know, it makes you feel more aroused or just gives you some sort of sexual pleasure, even just watching it. Yeah, right. It starts off with that- it can go on to peer pressure. You know, you see friends doing it and they say, okay, have you seen this? Have you seen that? And when you say no, you're looked down upon or you know, they say "you're so weird". "Why haven't you done that yet?" Or it could be just curiosity. You know, for people who haven't engaged in any sort of physical intimacy, they're probably curious to see, you know, how things work, what is intercourse like, what's foreplay like. So I think, you know, these are the most common ones. But typically around why people tend to watch porn in the first place. Yeah, I think a lot of the younger people Porn & Sex Ed who've had easy access to porn from the get go are also using it for sex education. Yes. You know, unfortunately, because there's a lack of other resources, so it's (porn) is being casually used for learning things as well. And, you know, absolutely very well put that there are several reasons why people watch it and some of them are even valid reasons. And in that sense, Watching Porn v/s Porn Addiction do you think porn is something, whether you're watching it all consuming other formats, you know, you could be reading it as well is something one can get addicted to. Is it comparable to substance that one gets addicted to? It could be. Very much. And I think we've been in the recent years, if I should say, you know, there has been a pretty big steep rise in the cases of people coming in with porn addiction. So, you know, an addiction would typically-- So watching porn generally is okay. You know, people can watch it once a month or a few times a week. And it's, as I mentioned, you know, for sexual pleasure or some sort of curiosity. But I think when it gets to a point where it's excessive, you know, it interferes with your overall productivity or you're unable to focus and concentrate on other general things you do every day, interferes with your relationship, takes a toll on your mental health. So, you know, when a couple of these things happen- is when you're leaning or you are addicted to it. So you're unable to function like you would otherwise because of this. So yeah, definitely possible. Yeah. I think you very nicely highlighted the difference between just watching porn and then saying that "Is it interfering with other areas of your life?" So like just watching porn may not be problematic, (Yes) but how is it affecting other spaces in your life is what the real question is here? Yes. And, you know, you also just used mental health as a term while talking about this. And so I'm just wondering, Porn Addiction- Mental or Sexual Health Concern? is porn addiction something that we now recognize or categorize as part of mental health concerns or sexual health concerns? So we don't formally recognize it as a disorder. But I think because, again, like I mentioned, there's been a growing, you know, increase in the number of cases. So we do recognize it as a disorder and something that definitely needs intervention of sorts. Right. So definitely something. I think that was my purpose of asking you this question that if we are recognizing it, you know, Tips For Fixing Porn Addiction even loosely as a mental health concern, or a sexual health concern, then do we have in place some tips for people, some some form of therapy? You know, what is the scenario like? So I think-I just maybe start off with a few general suggestions, right? Someone feel like they're going through or suffering from porn addiction. Mm hmm. You know, there's a couple of approaches. One is, you know, ""Cold Turkey"" Technique we have this famous phrase of the "Cold Turkey" you know, that means to just literally stop doing (quit) something suddenly, just immediately. So, you know, either that you just give it like a complete dead end and stop watching it, or you have like the ""Sobriety Date"" Technique something called the "sobriety date"- where, you know, you decide, that okay, this date, this month, I'm going to stop. So you sort of start working backwards and you start to reduce it one step at a time and finally get to that date. Or you have things like distracting yourself. So, you know, I'm sure when people watch porn or assuming so that, you know, they do it when they're alone, not the people around. So when you feel like you have that urge to watch it, maybe step out, where there are people around or go to a public place, distractions, you know, things like that. And, you know, there's Net Nanny To Quit Porn something called like "Net Nanny", something like that. What's that? They're these net blockers. Website blockers. Yes. Blocks access to that. Have credit cards, financial funding of any sort done away with. So it's like physical barriers, to access. which can. Yes. And thanks to technology now and, you know, a lot of applications and easy access, you have a couple of groups like the "SA", Support Groups For Porn Addiction which is your "Sexaholics Anonymous", then you have an "SLA" group, which is your "Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous". So, you know, I think this would be really helpful because you're with other people who are going through it and you're able to address it fairly openly. And of course, you know at Allo as well we do the combination of medication and therapy as treatment, because sometimes medication is very helpful when dealing with addiction and maybe coexisting other issues. And therapy helps to a very, very great extent as well. Yeah, I know. Interesting that you mentioned that because actually a lot of the tips that you mentioned are generally things that people with addictions of other kinds use as well. Yeah. So, so like you said, Therapy For Porn Addiction Allo has a curated treatment plan that I do know about, which is specific to porn addiction. And what is your experience been like with that? It's been really nice because I'm sure it's very encouraging. You know, when as a therapist, especially when you're, you know, you have cases coming in where you see a lot of people suffer and are very miserable and, you know, they get to a point where they feel very helpless . And then you're able to step in. You're able to, you know, do the magic of therapy, medication and you see a lot of improvement. So it's really nice to see people improve and yeah, I think get help and then it's just really nice after that. Yeah. I mean, when I saw that there was actually a curated plan for porn addiction, I was like, that's amazing, because how many people are even able to acknowledge it? And then you have a health care service which is saying, "We acknowledge it" and we know what you're experiencing and we can also help you with it. So that was definitely very, very nice for me to see as well. Ask Your Question- Sexpert Answers YOUR Questions! So now I think I have to take you into the next segment, which you are familiar with, but this segment is called Know Your Question or Ask Your Question where we crowdsource questions from you all, and you can also send in your questions anonymously. There's a link in the description and we ask the sexperts to answer them. Are you ready to take on some questions, today? Great. Okay. The first question is, "I want to quit watching porn. How long will it take?" No hard and fast rule. Ya. I think it depends on, you know, how ready you are- the person in question is to quit porn and you know the kind of help you seek, or the severity of porn addiction. So no fixed time. I think it's a combination of factors, but I think the more effort you put in, the more of an effort you make- I think the recovery rate is a lot more faster. Yeah. And I think that's not mentioned in the question here. But I think they're trying to ask if it's possible? Of course, definitely. You know, I think that's where the question's come from. Yes. Yes, very much. Yeah. Okay. The next question, "Who will be able to help me in quitting porn?" Yes, of course. I mean, you know, I think when it gets to a point where you feel you are not able to help yourself and people close around you also can't, I strongly advise to reach out to a therapist and, you know, a doctor? And I think that's where a lot of really good stuff. I mean, treatment can happen and, you know, it it really helps a lot because we're able to identify possible causing factors of why the addiction even started and other things like maybe anxiety, low moods that could coexist. So therapy, medication, you know, often is a very, very helpful treatment for it. Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay. The last question for the day, "Do I have to completely stop watching porn or once a week- sometimes a week is okay?" It is, as I said, watch it once a month, a few times a week, you know, very subjective. But I strongly advise for it to be only when you're aroused. Don't do it just because you have to. or because you have nothing else to do or more like, you know, a compulsion or you feel like it's just part of your routine. Yeah. So just stick to doing it only when you feel like it. No other reason at all. That was really, really well-put. And, you know, I absolutely admire the way you talk about this whole topic, because there are a lot of conversations about shaming people who watch porn. Yes. When it feels like everybody watches it. But then, you know, people also shame other people. So I think it'll be really great for people to be able to hear this and hear this from an expert. So thank you so much for doing that again. Thank you very much. That does bring us to the end of today's episode. And I just want to tell everyone that we love the feedback you're giving. We also encourage all of you to please write to us. We're on Instagram, Twitter. We're on email as well. All of the links are in the description, or you can just drop a comment. We'd love to know what else you want to hear about or anything else that you have to say to us or any of the sexperts who come in. Until then, it's Kanusha and Artika signing off. Take care and have a good day.